There’s no denying this one.
I have been through my fair share of breakups, and I think it’s important to say that they’re not all clear cut. Sometimes, you end things with someone you only went on a few dates with. Other times, it’s someone you dated for years and were really attached to. Sometimes, there’s a lot of crying afterwards, and other times, it’s sort of a relief. Breakups are not all the same, and just because you’ve had a breakup happen doesn’t mean you understand someone else’s. Every heartbreak hits a different way.
So when it comes to the question, how do you handle a breakup? Well…there’s a lot of answers to that one.
I think, though, one of the most important things to do first is allow yourself to be sad.
Take a few days off if you need to. Cry, eat ice cream out of the pint or whatever, watch a bad romantic comedy. Do the typical sad breakup dance to get all those emotions out of your system. If you don’t, they’ll just sit there and then explode when you’re not prepared. Now is your chance to purge all the negative energy. Get it over with. Halo Top and Nicholas Sparks are here for you!
Then, it’s time to get back on your feet. I really recommend doing something to make yourself look and feel extra nice; maybe paint your nails, color your hair, or buy a new set of underwear. Give a little extra effort to boost your confidence. You deserve to spend some extra energy on yourself.
Call your friends and start planning some adventures. This is the perfect opportunity to rejuvenate your social life!
And when you’re finally getting your strength back, I recommend putting away photos and gifts from your ex (just store them in a box or something, you don’t need to light it on fire) and disconnecting from them on social media. Give me one good reason to keep your Snapchat streak with the guy who cheated on you. You can’t, right? Exactly. Trust me, it will help you move on mentally and focus on better things.
And if you ever think of crawling back…remember why you broke up. Remember the bad things, the things that went wrong. You can remember your relationship fondly, but not so fondly that you’re tempted to beg for another shot. When it comes to exes, I think it’s better to just give the time and space and keep moving forward.
Don’t ever let anyone judge you for the way you process the end of a relationship. Breakups affect everyone differently, and there’s no written timeline for when you should be “over it.” Don’t be hard on yourself for having feelings. Don’t dehumanize yourself.
And I really, really hope you feel better soon.